NarutoHP xover Untitled OneShot
by Aikei-chan
Summary: NarutoHarry Potter crossover based on fanart. Draco hates Sasuke. the annoying arrogant git. only HE can be snarky and smexy. Naruko dissagrees. Sasunaru crackficness use of sexy no jutsu


Written for Askerian on deviantart based on a picture she drew

Fandom: Naruto + Harry Potter CRACKFIC! XD well...kinda...well...yah...

Rating: PG

Genre: Humor

Shipping: Sasuke/Naruko, implied Sasunaru

Warnings: gender bending, overuse of the word snarky and the creation of the Inner Draco X3

Some things won't be understood unless you read the HP books or even saw the movies. Like the ferret mention...

- - - - - - - - - -

It was a nice day, rather warm for November but nobody really minded. The windows in the great hall had been opene so the cool wind could circulate the vast room. It was, to say the least, comphy. All around the great hall, students of all ages rested after a long week of hard work. Some were chatting with their friends while others occupied themselves with studying. A select few, such as Ron Weasley and Sakura Haruno, were peacefully dozing in various positions to try to get comfortable. Among all of this peace, one person was NOT peaceful.

Not at the least.

Draco Malfoy, heir to the Malfoy fortune and arguably the most attractive student at Hogwarts since the death of Cedric Diggory, was fuming. Not outwardly of coarse, that would ruin his cool, collected, snarky reputation. But inside, he was ready to kill.

And his prey for the evening?

None other than one equally snarky and equally if not more attractive Sasuke Uchiha.

Sasuke had seated himself at the Gryffindor table (which really wasn't a problem since no one really sat at their own houses table during off hours. I mean why would you if you would rather be sitting with people you can get along with without trying to out-snark each other?) Right next to his bubbly pink-haired friend who at the moment was fast asleep against the table. At least Draco THOUGHT that the girl was his friend. If Sasuke was really like him he was probably using her but Draco couldn't think of what this particular girl could be used for. She wasn't very good at anything except healing, and even in that she wasn't the best.

For a few minutes after Sasuke had arrived, he had constantly been looking towards the door, as if waiting for someone to arrive. Eventually though, Sasuke had given up and began looking around the room. That's when his eyes landed on Draco. With a smirk now plastered on his pale face, Sasuke waved to the bleach-blonde Slytherin.

Draco smirked back, rolling his eyes. Inside, inner Draco was scowling. But it wasn't like he wanted Sasuke to know this, so it stayed inside. Despite what people might say, he had a shitload of self control. And he was damn well going to use it.

Sasuke's smirk faded and he continued what he was doing; people watching. Someone who knew him and his 'friends' might say he had contracted the deadly Shikamaru disease. But he didn't. He was just bored.

Now that Sasuke wasn't staring directly at him, Draco's scowl came forth. His gaze was now on the group of fangirls behind Sasuke. How could someone like him have so many of them? And why didn't he take advantage of it like HE did? It was all too puzzling for the mind of a Malfoy. A Malfoy would always take advantage of a situation like this. Anything else was unheard of.

Which is why a Malfoy would always be better than an Uchiha. I mean who had ever heard of an Uchiha anyway? No one. Exactly.

Standing up, Draco made his way to the Gryphindor table. He rested his arm against the flat surface with a smirk, looking Sasuke straight in the eyes. It was a challenge and he was going to make sure that Sasuke knew it.

For what felt like an hour to anyone watching (it was actually 1 minute and 12 seconds but who's counting?), Sasuke and Draco just had their eyes locked. Neither would back down from a challenge normally and they weren't going to start now.

"Well, Well, Well, if it isn't Uchiha. What in the world compelled you to sit at THIS table? Sitting at this table is like saying that your scum like them." Draco asked, finally breaking the chilling silence and pointing in the direction of the sleeping Weasley boy, Harry Potter, and the brunette beside him, studying frantically from a book that looked too big for someone of her stature to pick up, much less carry all the way down to the great hall.

"Like that's any of your business, Malfoy." Sasuke replied with a 'hmph'.

Draco's smirk only grew from the response.

"Listen here, Uchiha. If you're not going to take advantage of your situation," Draco said slyly, motioning to the fangirls, "then go home and put them out of their misery. I'm sure SOMEONE can pick up the pieces." Cue the growing smirk.

Sasuke just snorted, not breaking the eye contact.

"What, cat got your tongue?"

"I'd prefer not to talk with arrogant pigs that can't back up their threats." Draco twitched at Sasuke's words, still not breaking the eye contact.

"Cant back up my threats? For someone who can barely work a wand, you're sure arrogant of your abilities."

"You can't even begin to imagine what I can do, Malfoy." Sasuke said, finally smirking back at Draco.

"Well why don't you show me then?" Draco purred in the seductive voice that made even Gryphindor boys' knees twitch. "How about a duel? Tonight in the dungeons at six…"

"Fine." Was Sasuke's only response. Draco smirked and stood up straight.

"Good. Well see you then Uchiha. Don't expect me to go easy on you."

"Same to you." Sasuke retaliated before returning to looking at other students. Draco frowned before heading out of the great hall. He had to spread the word.

Not quite watching where he was going, Draco Malfoy was pulled from his thoughts by a rabid animal.

Or…..wait….

Never mind, it was a girl.

"Hey, watch where you're going." Draco snapped, turning his head to the girl. Immediately he swallowed his words. The girl in front of him was a VERY attractive blond and had the curviest figure he had ever seen. And he had seen curvy figures before.

The blond girl smirked at the sight of Draco checking her out. This could be fun.

"It's my fault, sorry. I should have been watching were I was going."

"Its ok," Draco responded, turning on his Malfoy charm. He was born with it you see. Not EVERYONE had the ability to be as breathtaking as him. "That's funny… I haven't seen you around here before. I'm Draco Malfoy." He said, taking in her outfit. So she was a Gryphindor. Ah well, some sacrifices were meant to be made for the sake of some hot lovin'.

"Naruko Uzumaki. I don't go here I'm just visiting my brother. Maybe you know him, Naruto?"

Inner Draco scowled once again. Yes, he knew Naruto. Naruto the pig. Naruto the idiot. Naruto the only one that Sasuke seemed to be ever even remotely threatened by. Naruto the useless, annoying little bug.

"No, sorry, I've never met him. I heard he was an interesting guy though."

_Interesting my FOOT. The only thing less interesting than him is a rock. Or maybe a Weasley._

"So, Naruko, are you enjoying Hogwarts?"

"Eh, I guess. The food could be better but otherwise this place has been fine."

"Well if you want to try some real food, maybe we could have lunch today? I'm sure I could get a pass out to Hogsmeade if I say I'm showing you around…" Draco suggested with a sultry purr. Yeah, he was good.

Naruko gave him a seductive smile and came closer to him, running a finger down his cheek.

"Well that would be nice…it could be tasty…but…"

"But what?" Draco asked his voice almost down to a whisper.

"I don't go for blonde ferrets." And with that, she lightly shoved Draco away.

For a moment, Draco was stunned.

Then he was pissed.

How did she know about that! How the HELL did she know about the ferret incident? Even the pig Naruto couldn't have known about that! Surrounding him, the few people who had seen the exchange covered their mouths to hold back laughter. A loud thump caused quite a few heads to turn. Farther down at the Gryphindor table, Ron Weasley had fallen out of his seat from laughter. It seemed that the little conversation between Sasuke and Draco had caused Harry Potter to nudge Ron awake, expecting something to laugh at.

For as everyone knows, where a ferret and a snake meet, the ferret is sure enough going to end up running away for dear life.

Or something funny like that.

Pissed off now, Draco watched Naruko skip off, only to stop right next to Sasuke.

"Sasu-baby! I'm sorry if I'm late. Had a bit of a run in with a slug. Did you know Sakura's trunk got infested? We should tell her when she wakes up….her extra uniform was the only thing that didn't get attacked."

Sasuke's eyes darted to Draco and he smirked.

"It's fine Naruko." Sasuke said, standing up and tilting Naruko's chin. "Perfectly fine." He said before kissing her. Naruko's arms found their way behind Sasuke's neck and her foot popped up behind her as the kiss continued. The shrieking of the fangirls was loud enough to cover Draco's aggravated scream. When the kiss broke Sasuke and Naruko turned to Draco. Sasuke smirked and pulled Naruko closer to him.

"I much prefer Black haired Snakes." Naruko said with a big grin and stuck her tongue out at the Malfoy heir. Sasuke tugged on Sakura, pulling her close to him too. This jarred Sakura awake and she looked around, confused. Until she realized Sasuke was holding her close. In public. With a squeal she wrapped her arms around his waist, blushing.

If you could see emotions, Draco would at this point be steaming. Sasuke's smirk faded back to his emotionless expression and he walked past Draco out of the great hall with the two girls hanging on him and Naruko kicked Draco's leg as she passed.

With one arm around Naruko and one arm around Sakura, Sasuke continued down the hall, away from the crying fangirls and the steaming Draco.

"Naruto…"

"I know you love me Sasuke, but you still owe me for that."

"Hn."

"Naruto, are you wearing my uniform?"


End file.
